01/25/12 - blurrrrrrr

Days are just flying by and, unfortunately, I haven't had enough time and energy to put into my work. That's the problem with RSD/CRPS or any chronic illness - you have to choose your battles. The big question everyday is: what am I going to put the energy I have into? What will I be capable of doing and for how long? Yesterday I felt pretty good - walked a couple of miles with Bugsy and without a cane, drove to New Bedford, did errands, went to the RMV, took pics for a friend, visited with another friend in NB, visited with a 3rd in Prov, walked Bugs some more, painted for about 15 minutes and then collapsed. Not a bad day though, not bad at all.

But, there is no mistaking it, the RSD/CRPS is spreading - only now it's raging on thru my fingers. It's taken my legs, my spine, my back, my torso and now it's taking my fingers. It's hard to explain what this feels like but for over 3 months the skin and some of the muscle in my fingers have felt like they're "asleep". While a sharp pain has been resonating from one particular part, just under the cuticle of the thumb on my left hand, the sleepy feeling has spread throughout my hand(s). This one little pain, in my thumb, woke me up from a sound sleep 3 months ago and hasn't stopped - the pain hasn't spread but numbness has. Most of my palm is numb as well as the top of my hand, may pinkie and sections of each finger. And because this illness causes the brain to mirror image damage or symptoms, my right hand has developed the same problem only slightly more intense. My right hand is swollen and has consistently been for about 2 two weeks.

The illness is so bizarre - when I moved from New Bedford and the Cave de la Hermitage to my new digs, Rooms of: this way that, up, I couldn't bend my legs properly. I had HORRIBLE pain running from the base of my spine to my toes and I literally couldn't get my legs to bend. Now they're better, almost fine, but I have pain, burning and numbness radiating from my elbows to the tips of my fingers to the base of my neck - which is feeling particularly sensitive today.

Today, I have several battles that need to be addressed but I also need to figure out which is the most important - do I go to AS220 where I'm scheduled to be in print shop or do I tackle the 2nd stage of getting my truck registered? I want to paint or work on Scootertown but I think working on artwork is going to have to be the reward for getting thru the day today.

Anyway, here's another piece I'm working on:

Aerosol on 4' x 4' masonite

Recently added acrylic.